Interview week, neck’s a mess

I noticed it Tuesday night, right under my jaw, the skin gone red and thick again after almost 2 months of it ‘behaving’, and of course it’s the same week I’ve got 2 interviews lined up because the job hunt is finally moving after months of nothing, so now I’m sitting here figuring out how to angle my collar so it doesn’t show on the video call (at least I can control the camera for that one), which feels like such a stupid thing to worry about but it’s exactly the kind of thing that makes the stress worse, which then makes the skin worse, round and round it goes, and I know logically this is just my body doing the thing it always does when work piles up, it’s been doing this since my 20s, but knowing that doesn’t make it any easier to sit through a meeting itching under my collar and pretending everything’s ‘fine’, and then coming home and not being able to relax because there’s a wedding invite sitting on the counter, the 3rd one this month, and I love these people but I genuinely don’t have it in me right now! not the money for another gift and an outfit, not the energy for small talk while my neck’s doing this, and I’ve been staying up way too late playing games just to shut my brain off, which isn’t helping either, I’m running on maybe 5 hours some nights and then wondering why the flare hasn’t calmed down, I’ve gone back to the cool compresses, switched to the fragrance-free stuff I know actually works, cut the caffeine back down, and it’s just… slow, slower than I’d like, and I’m tired of explaining to people why I look worn out and patchy when it’s not one thing, it’s the job search and the money going out for weddings and gifts and the job itself all landing on my skin at once, RIGHT when I need it to hold together, I keep telling myself once the interviews are done I’ll get a weekend to do nothing, no games, no budget spreadsheet, just sleep and let it settle, but there’s always something lined up right after, another wedding, another deadline, and I’m just tired of being the one whose body has to absorb all of it.