Woke up around 3am again last night mid-scratch, and this time there was a thin line of blood on my wrist that I didn’t even feel happen. Just blood under my nails and a cut I don’t remember making.
This has been going on for about 2 months now. Not every night, but enough that I’ve stopped expecting to sleep through most of them. Two or 3 times most nights, and lately I’m scratching before I even fully wake up. By the time my brain catches up I’m already mid-motion.
I run a small shop during the day, so showing up foggy and irritated isn’t really optional. Customers don’t care that I was up at 3am. I just smile and ring people up and try not to think about how raw my arms feel under my sleeves.
I keep going back and forth on whether it’s something in the bedroom. Switched detergent a while back, but I honestly can’t tell if that helped or if I just want it to be that simple. Switched back after. No real difference either way.
Part of me wants to just push for a dermatologist referral and stop guessing on my own. Part of me feels like I’ve already tried enough things that a doctor visit will just be another round of “try this for a few weeks” and I’ll end up right back here.
Mostly I’m just tired. The kind of tired where picking up my guitar at night, something that used to actually calm me down, now just feels like one more thing I don’t have the energy for.