Been staring at my phone for days instead of just hitting reply on these RSVP cards, and I don’t really know why I’m still stuck on it.
Three friends decided to get married within about a month and a half of each other this fall, which, fine, I get it, everyone wants the good weather window before it turns cold here. But I had two night shifts back to back last week and came home both mornings too wiped to even think about food, let alone open my laptop and figure out hotel blocks and plus-ones and whether I can actually afford three weekends of travel in a row.
The RSVP deadline for the first one passed 4 days ago and I still haven’t sent it in. I know that’s a jerk move. They’re probably wondering if I’m even coming at this point. I keep telling myself I’ll do it tomorrow when I’m less fried, and tomorrow I’m either on a shift or recovering from one.
Meanwhile the garden is just doing its own thing without me. Went out before a night shift to water and half the tomato cages had already tipped from wind the night before, and I left them like that because I had maybe 20 minutes before I needed to leave. Came back the next afternoon and some of the plants were just lying on the ground.
And the running thing I was easing into has basically gone quiet too. Not quitting it exactly, just haven’t touched it in a while, and I know if I actually counted the days it would make me feel worse, so I’m not counting.
It’s not any one thing. The shift schedule just doesn’t care that I’ve got a life stacking up outside of it, and I’m tired of feeling like I’m always behind on something — the RSVPs, the garden, the running, whatever’s next. Sorry for dumping all this on you all, I just needed to get it out somewhere.